[QUOTE=rolan86;2759335]I had therapy last school year at my university through the school health center, and am worried about starting it up again this coming semester. I needed counseling last year out of fear of losing my mind after a drug experience. Therapy somewhat helped me. While not really tackling any specific issues or solving any problems, it made me feel better that someone could listen and not think I have a messed up mind. However, therapy left me feeling horrible after, and still does, after termination which was about 8 months ago. I developed intense transference for my female therapist, which led to nonstop sexual fantasies about her, and compulsively trying to look her up online (which yielded no results). It all left me devastated when she told me we could not keep in contact.

I have a long list of things I need to have examined. Sometimes I feel like I don't need it and I'll be fine, but other moments, when I'll have an episode, I will feel desperate for help. Not to be too specific, but some of the issues I need to talk to someone about are:
-depression
-loneliness
-fear of having psychosis
-panic attacks
-insecurity regarding appearance
-insecurity regarding my status as a virgin
-insecurity regarding my aspirations
-social anxiety
-exploding head syndrome
-laughing disorder (cannot help but laugh in the most inappropriate of moments. In serious moments my mind will be flooded with perverse and vulgar humor, which causes me to laugh uncontrollably, thus leaving me humiliated. Trying to suppress it only makes it worse.
-OCD
-intense self-pressure to use psychedelic drugs
etc...

I hope you are able to find a good therapist! Hopefully you will get a male T as requested, although different types of transference can happen with any gender (parental, ie.) I wish you the bezt. Keep us posted:-)