My ED started when I was 16 and I went into anorexia hardcore, going from 190 at 5'9 to 110 by the time I was 19.
Now, thanks to meds, I'm back up to 170 and it sickens me.
I guess you'd say Im bulimerexic (sp?) whatever. I starve and abuse laxs and diuretics obsessively. I dont throw up though, but trust me, I've tried.
It worries me when blood comes out...but it hasnt stopped me yet. I just like the feeling of being empty, and when I do eat, I compensate.
I've recently lost 30lbs again thanks to this, and I cant stop myself.
Plus, Im fixing to go on topamax which Ive heard causes weight loss. This alone would make me feel better reqardless of anything else it does to control my moodswings. Sometimes I wonder if all my problems go back to me being fat and sickening. But even at 110 I wasnt happy. So I dont know what to do.

Has anyone else here lost weight or heard about losing weight on topamax. I need it to be my savior, bothe physically and emotionally because I'm at the end of my rope, literally.

Input would be nice
Thanks!

-Kelly-