My parents are overbearing, and annoying to be around quite a lot. My father is a bully, and my mum drinks like a fish at Xmas to have her own fun time. They are not fun to be with, esp as I don't really drink anymore so I can't blot it out!

After 35 years of every Christmas with them, I decided with two weeks notice not to go. My brother was in the middle of chemo, he was tired, emotional, and I'd been supporting him. I'd spent all my spare time with him, as well as work an 60 hour week and I badly needed some time out - I didn't want to drive 200 miles, and plaster a smile on my face, while putting up with all their issues.

So I spent an Xmas day on my own. My friends, bless them invited me, but I said no to everyone. I read a really good book, ate what I liked, watched Doc Who Xmas special, lol, and it was the best Christmas in my adult years! The fact my mother did not speak to me for 2 weeks, sulking because I had not gone, without even asking my reasons, nor caring enough, just reaffirmed that I knew it was the best decision I made. I went to their house the year after, had a really bad time, and have never been there again for Xmas.

Apparently I have ruined xmas for ever more, so my father told me. (Even though my 3 older brothers do not go to see them, they are forgiven, and its all on my shoulders to make them happy). Every time they say something like this, I know I have made the right decision. Its all about them, and nothing about my wishes or feelings.

I'd say have Christmas to yourselves. If its hard, for any reason, or even if you just simply want a year off, then do it. Please dont do what I did, going year after year through guilt and a sense of duty, and make it harder for the future to do what you want to do.

Sorry for the higgledy piggledy writing, just got in from a concert and very tired. x