I have a trial by judge on Thursday. It is a misdemeanor. I am accused of assault with contact-nonfamily. This may not mean much for most but this simple charge can end my 30+ year career.

I went to court to plead and request the trial. I went again for the trial but was so upset because the person (nurse) was present. I had also lost my lifelong best friend unexpectedly just days before. Needless to say, I was a blubbering idiot. The judge rescheduled because of my emotional state. No one knows of my mental illness.

I was in an ER waiting room for physical problems. I had had 5 surgeries at that point, received horrible hospital care and was scared to death. To keep this extremely short I put my arm out to prevent anyone from coming any closer to me or my purse which was on the floor. Apparently my sunglasses in my hand touched this pregnant nurse. I didn't feel a thing, had no idea until she shouted "you just assaulted me".

I have done research mostly on what the effect will be on my career should I be found guilty. I filed a complaint with the state health department because I was refused care. I have a copy of this.

Two friends will be accompanying me. This nurse said she doesn't want to ruin my career but I don't think she really know that I can have my license revoke or suspended.

I am scared to death. Have not worked in 18 months because of the physical problems. But mostly I am afraid I will not be able to control my emotions and making matters worse.

Emotions: fear, anger, helplessness, unworthy. The list goes on.
Looking for support. I will see my counselor the day before. We have been discussing this.