It's both and I feel like that now and it is so frustrating to feel this way , but Rhapsody is right and i am hanging onto that at the moment, that when I feel ok it is so very good, the sense of freedom of the mind is a wonderful and powerful feeling.
Hang in there wiht me and just get through today and do nt think beyond that - that is my plan, the smallest chink of hope is all you need.

Think about a time when you felt free even if it was only for a few hours/minutes and keep hold of that thought.

Here's to us all !