lately i've been having very strange dreams,
there's one where i am a horse, a beautiful white pecked horse. I jumped the barbwire fence only to land in a deep ditch causing me to break my leg. I can no longer stand, i lay on the grass in pain. i'm scared, i don't know what will happen to me. i hear someone walk to me as i'm laying there in pain. i can't see who it is, all i can see is a gun, aimed at my head. they're holding me down by a foot on my neck. before i could even think, bam. i was shot, but not dead. i can no longer breath, i'm fighting for my breath but can't find it, it's too hard, its too late.
with this dream, i have actually been told i stop breathing and twitch alot. i suddenly wake up from this dream fighting for air. strange thing is with this dream is that this actually happened to my neighbours horse about 2 years ago.

the other dream is from a sexual assault that happened to me when i was 15yrs old. i stopped having these dreams when i was about 16, but couple weeks ago i started dreaming about it again. i'd be crying in my sleep begging someone to stop him. i thought i had him out of my head but now that i've started having dreams about it again it's beginning to make me really hopeless and anxious like every face i see is his. i'm almost 18 and i've been on and off several different kids of medication and in and out of the hospital.

I really don't want to slip back into all that again, i've worked so hard to get better.