i'm not sure what to expect from this site, this is my first self injury online post. my therapist and i tend to skip over this subject only because i can manipulate him into something new. there are some people who know i cut myself but can't understand. and lately my cutting has gotten worse, and i want to do it very deep, i don't know why but i'd like to be able to see my bones. i don't know if anyone else has ever had that specific thought before. it's just that sometimes i want to know that there is something underneath. something inside of me. i haven't yet done this but it creeps up in my mind more and more as the days go by and the nights get longer. can anyone relate?

-carmen