Different cultures, different countries, different times, yada, yada, all have different standards of beauty. I agree, the anorexic standard for women that we see in all media these days is screwed up. However, over the years, (40 of them), I've been fat (50 lbs. overweight) and I've been normal weight (height/weight proportional), and I've been 10 lbs. underweight. I'll cut to the chase on this. Personally I cannot be "fat and happy". I'm miserable when I am overweight. Miserable health-wise, wardrobe-wise, and sex wise. I will not address your romance issues, just your questions about weight. And that's only IMO. I'm sure there are others just as valid.