I can understand your fears. I know how your thoughts can turn from the simple ideas of questions to what ifs like "what if they ask why, what if they ask how? etc." I ruminate about conversations in my head all the time. It's really none of their business beyond the superficial, if they were close friends that should know they probably would already know these things about you I completely understand. Its gotta be stressful.

I know what you mean about drinking too, although I've only been real drunk a handful of times. I could see how you would feel ashamed but you shouldn't. Fact is I'm gonna take a wild stab and guess that even if you got drunk, there were probably more than a handful of others that did the same. It was a party, I wouldn't worry about it.