Hmmm.. I was brought up a similar way.

These are my thoughts:

-Guilt. I felt for a long time guilty for being angry that my inner / emotional needs were not met because I had everything I needed. Great vacations, food, holidays. This made me feel ashamed because I felt like that was what was important. It's what I learned mattered. My emotions didn't. So I had to hide them.

-Hiding emotions is something I have become good at for fear that if I did show emotions to others I will be rejected and abandoned. Emotions are unsafe, they are scary, and others will not understand nor meet my emotional needs. Therefore, it's difficult to get close in a real way.

Not sure if this will help! Just a few thoughts.

Good luck!