I am just doing it as an anti-anxiety technique. I have a lot of situational anxiety and am hoping that reading your stories would amuse, enchant, and distract me. I am waiting for my neuropsych evaluation results which are due back in a week and once they are back, I will file a motion to gain visitation rights to see my daughters. Everything hinges on this neuropsych eval now and waiting is so difficult. I wish I could hibernate for a week.

Since I am asking this question, I need to volunteer with my answer. It is not going to be spectacular, for sure. In fact, it will be boring as hell, and a bit funny.

I had been having oral sex since 19, but no vaginal sex. Then, one day when I was 20 or even 21, I had friendly sex with someone named Kevin Smith, who was an American living in Europe. He was 1-2 years my senior and a good friend. With this kind of common name, you can imagine that I cannot locate him now, having lost trace of him many years ago. No FB no Google no anything can help me track him down. Kevin's close friend was my first (LDR) boyfriend who lived in Seattle. He (bf) was my age. With him I had oral sex only, but Kevin and everyone else assumed that my r/s with my first bf was fully consummated (not true). With Kevin, I had one, maybe two fellatio encounters at parties - just friendly, no loving feelings - and one day we actually had vaginal sex. I was not aroused because I was just being friendly and that was all; still, it did not hurt me a bit. There was no blood. It was all entirely matter-of-factly. Kevin was drunk (small quantities of alcohol made him drunk, which was very funny) and I still do not know whether he was aware of what happened. He was of a very high opinion of me, in general, and I now would have liked if I could to find him and tell him this story - I imagine that he would probably feel a little flattered that he, oops, took my virginity, and a little embarrassed too, and a little, well, "what did I do to deserve this honor?". But... a needle in a haystack.

That was it - absolutely no drama, no suspense, no pain, no tears, no climax, no nothing. "nothing to write home about", for sure.

I had sex with Kevin a couple more times, entirely on friendly terms (actually, also feeling a bit maternal towards him because he was small, short, and completely lost in a foreign country). I then went on to have a second bf locally and then a third bf locally who would become my first H and only with him (third bf) I started coming from manual clitoral stimulation. Before, sex was just my being very nice to boys.