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So I struggle with this, and while I should forgive for my own sake, not hers -- I'm still finding it very difficult.
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lee, that sentence in the big book may help. in general it states if we've been truly harmed to pray for that person cuz they are truly sick. i had to exercise this sentence when my sister harmed me financially...too be blunt...stole thousands of dollars from me in sobriety. long story. it probably didn't help her but it sure helped me!
oh yes and my sponsor told me it was ok with any cuss words in my prayer. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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