"i tend to skip over this subject only because i can manipulate him into something new"

Does this mean when the topic comes up in therapy, you change the topic to something else? Does he know your SI? It sure sounds like something you two need to discuss since it's occupying your mind. That's what you see if for - to talk about what's on your mind, right?

Are your injuries in need of medical treatment? Are you careful about infection and scar reduction?

Are prepared to begin work on stopping the SI? Yoiu know it's addictive. The longer you do it, like smoking or drinking, the harder it is to quit.

Please take care. Emmy

"Language is a Trojan horse by which the universe gets into the mind. ." -- Hugh Kenner