Hi, Candy! (Yep, it's me...resurfaced...again!)

I've been thinking along similar lines lately, but with the twist of "will I EVER be ~myself~ again?" meaning like I was before the major depression that knocked me to the floor almost a year ago that I am still fighting out of.

For most of my adult life I took two psych meds (Zoloft & Depakote). That was it. I lived a "normal" life; laughed, was very active, traveled, worked. Taking those 2 pills was as natural as taking a daily vitamin.

Once this nightmare began last year, I did start resenting the ever-increasing pills, mainly due to all the side effects I began experiencing without really getting any relief.

I was finally "stabilized" a few months ago and have been weaning off so I can get back to "two pills again" (this time Zoloft and Lamictal). But I still get really "roller-coasterish." Some days I think everything will be ok...others (like today) I'm back on a crying binge and everything seems hopeless.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to hold a steady job again which is really scaring me. I'm not married; my mother has been supporting me until I get back on my feet, but now she's running out of expendable funds (and it is very demeaning to have to accept them); I'm considering beginning investigating if I may actually be considered disabled, but then fearful of that....

All of us that have responded here have our varying trials. Thank you Sky for your perspective...I do so want to encompass that.

But, to answer your question Candy, I resent taking pills and STILL don't have my "life" back.