Hi Steve,
Thank you for your post. I am also staring down 40 and will be hitting that lovely milestone in about 2 more weeks. My depression and downward spiral started about 5 years ago, so I can remember happier times, but I don't know if it's worse to have had a much better life or not - because I feel like such a failure for the way my life has turned out. For the first time in my life I was let go from a job because of my depression, my marriage is over and I am a lost soul. Antidepressants have never done anything for me and therapy - well I've tried but don't find it helpful once I leave the office. So what to do now? I keep waiting for something to happen, to get me out of this nightmare that is my life. I know that I'm the only one who can do this, but how?

Hopefully you can think of happier times and know that there is something better for us all if we can somehow, slowly must the energy to try. And if you can hold down a job you're definitely doing better than I am for sure.

Send me a PM if you want to commiserate more and thanks for your post.

Livebythesea