I've always had anxiety and had problems with self-esteem. I'm thinking this is just a side effect of those but I'd like to see if anyone can relate to this and if there's any kind of remedy for it.

So basically I feel like I fail horribly at social interaction. The best way I can start to describe it is that I feel as though I wasn't taught proper manners and social interaction rules as a child. But then when I say that, I feel bad because it can't possibly be my parents fault! Who would raise their child to be socially inadequate?!

Here are some common things I experience:

- I constantly feel like I have to *monitor* where I'm looking.. the thought process in my head kind of goes "uh oh.. am I glancing too much in that direction? What if someone over there thinks I'm staring at them?" I don't seem to know what type of looking is appropriate :S

- I'm scared that sometimes the things I blurt out are inappropriate and I feel like I can sense people's disapproval by their body language/exchanging glances with others/etc.

- When around kids, I don't know if I should give them attention when they come up to me and how nice I should be to them. I am dating a man with a kid and when we're around other parents and kids it seems like they don't acknowledge the kids as much as I feel compelled to. :S Then I think "what if they think it's weird that I talk and interact with the kids too?"

- Wonder if what I talk about/bring up is weird or boring to other people. I constantly get jealous of my boyfriend having in depth conversations with my friends and then feel as though he doesn't think my conversations are as important or valuable as theirs.

This is just a few examples but I just wanted to give an example of some of the things I experience. It doesn't affect my ability to go out - I can still go out in public and go to social events, but as I'm there I usually have these worries in my head throughout the entire event. And then, my thoughts will linger on the event and what I may have done or said wrong for days after!

Can someone tell me what is wrong with me? I feel like someone who just crawled out from under a rock sometimes..