Thanks for replying, Sky. I don't think I can talk about it in real life - it makes my friends uncomfortable and I don't think my parents like talking about it either (don't blame them). Plus, I can't say its name - I always end up calling it "the Dunblane thing" if I do have to talk about it. Writing is easier, though.
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sharing how you feel others would hate you if they knew you didn't lose anyone... why would they hate you? Do you feel you should have died instead? That's a common feeling for those who don't feel worthy of life.. imo.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> It's not that I think I should have died instead, it's that I don't feel I have any right to be upset, and I think they'd be angry if they knew I was. It's an insult to what they went through, if that makes sense.