Chopin, you're not crazy.

It was more than a month ago when I had my first BAD session. I was in absolute tears, and I'm never like that in front of anyone. T didn't respond to that all. She just lectured me about...myself, and all sorts of things. She said she was frustrated (later when we were talking about it she said she'd never been so angry with a client before and that she wouldn't have been angry like that if she didn't care). I was shattered. She wouldn't even look at me as I left. I thought it was the last time I'd see her because I could never return to that. Just recently she asked me to consider the fact that it wasn't about me and that she wasn't functioning at her best.

My T maintains that she was reacting to things in me (like unconscious anger, that I wasn't even aware of). But she pushed WAY WAY too far and WAY too hard. She nearly lost me...I still feel unsure about whether we'll survive. But anyway, it wasn't just me she was reacting too, it was her stuff too. I don't think you're crazy at all.