Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99
Here's the thing; you probably don't know the background with my T. She used to consistently let my sessions run over by 10-15 min. One time, she asked me to fix a bracelet I made her after session...we shot the breeze and she shared about herself until 35 minutes after session, then we walked down to our cars together ("because it isn't the best neighborhood"). I offered to walk her down to her car after a session a couple of weeks ago (it was dark) and she politely refused. Another time, something was wrong with her iPad. I made a (mostly) sincere gesture to help fix it. She said yes. That day, I stayed 45 min after session trying to fix it.
|
FWIW, I think she has not been responsible about boundaries, has either found it increasingly irritating or just realised her mistake, and is now frustrated with HERSELF. She's trying to reformulate the boundaries now, but she should be talking with you about her part in this--not throwing it on you.
I went through a period of being very upset at the end of sessions, so much so that I couldn't drive. My T didn't want me sitting in my car, so he let me stay in the room while he finished up paperwork, etc in the outer office for 10-15 minutes. Then he'd come back, see that I'd pulled myself together, and tell me it was time to go.
After a few months of this, one night when he came back, he told me that he wasn't sure he had done the right thing by letting me stay. He was frustrated, but definitely not angry. And he didn't blame me for his decision. We talked about it. I expressed that I had found it helpful, and that I didn't think his letting me stay or not had any bearing on what was or was not working during session.
The important thing is, while he expressed his frustration, and self-doubt, and may very well have felt some resentment of my accepting the time, he owned his action/reaction as his. He didn't try to turn his decision and feelings to being about my issues.