I am sorry Blue

I really hope when your son comes home it will be the start of some change, tho I know that can come slow.

I don't know what it is but I hear you, I am not in the xmas spirit either this year. I even took the kids to see a christmas carol play the other night. It had to be the least christmasy Christmas Carol production ever... not too mention depressing.

Sometimes for the kids we do got to fake it bit at times. It is hard tho yes. I hope maybe this bit of hypo might just get you more into the mood.. at least into a better place at the moment hopefully.

Please keep hanging in there, you have come so far and already walked through so much, I know it can seem daunting to have to keep doing more, but it is a testimony to what you can do.. that you can.

On the bf front, that is hard. I know I do most of it alone, I don't have family support, child support, father support. And it is hard, for me the really toughest part has been having these amazing kids and not having anyone in my home to share that with. But I have them, and we are strong together. Yes I have my bf, tho we don't live together, and the way it works for us is very unusual especially after this long. I think if I told people how are schedual works people would think I am nuts. But it does get lonely.. I understand that.