Who is "they" saying there gonna take 20% and unless you need that 20 its not much. If you filed for divorce and have a disability you have legal rights here too. im not sure what abandonment falls under but i would look into that. It is very hard to prove abuse especially mental. If you go back you will be oppressed. You left! You broke the bond. Why return? Claim your independence if you have the strength. Or draw on it.