I would greatly appreciate your advice, and the male p.o.v. as well as the female's.
This will be a long post, but it's all relevant. I need advice as to what to do.

I have been seeing this guy for 10 years, yes 10 and yet we are not living together or engaged. He is a confirmed typical batchelor, good job, nice car and flat. I want commitment and marriage and I've waited. He is a guy who puts his life in compartments. His job, his kids, his family, then there's me. I don't get to be included in the other parts of his life e.g. His grown up kids. I met them years ago but if he sees them, goes out with them I'm excluded. Same with family. I doubt his family know I'm still around ( I met them once or twice, again years ago ) but he is not close to his family and wouldn't discuss a gf. I've never heard him call me his gf.

He says he loves me on the phone but never to my face. We never speak of a future or where we're going. Ten years we have drifted along. He's not romantic, and it's hard to admit but he doesn't even buy me a birthday card ! Or christmas, and valentine's day, is a non event.

This last year I have not seen him at all. I have literally not left my bed all year. Not once due to my crippling unmedicated depression.
He has asked to see me over and over, every week, and I've made excuses. I am so glad he has never given up on me, he quite easily could have, or found someone else.

I have finally agreed to see him friday this week, and can't let him down again. However I need to know if there is a future with him. I'd marry him tomorrow, and have hinted for a proposal. Funny thing is, after 2 years of dating he did propose to me twice. I said yes, but nothing ever materialised, it was never mentioned again ! Odd or what ?

When I see him again this week, how do I play it ? We were very sexual together, and as he's not had sex in a year, he's highly frustrated ! Do I fall back into his arms/bed. I know he won't be able to keep his hands off me.
Would reunion sex be a bad thing ? Would it be natural to want to be in his bed, after so long, although my self esteem and confidence is low.

Do I press him and have the 'where we're going' chat, seems a joke after 10 years ?

Pls don't say I should propose to him, that's not me, and I want it to come from him.

Do I give him an ultimatum and be prepared to walk away ?

I don't want to be his ***** buddy, or FWB. I just want commitment, damn it, I want to be his wife. We're not kids, he's 53, I'm 52. Surely he must know what he wants.

It can't be said I'm too available, and conveniant for him, as I've hidden away all year, and he still phones and texts every day.

Please give me your advice as to what I do.

I don't want to walk away, but this relationship
is not normal.

Because I've not seen him in almost a year, it's hard to know how things will be when we resume seeing each other.

I can't spend another 10 years waiting for what I want. Am I mad for wanting him ? I can't explain why I love him, he works too hard, is totally unromantic and doesn't make me feel special at all !

Thank you for reading this, please advise me, I will answer any questions to clarify the situation.

Your advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you