After ten years of fighting to try and make our marriage work, I have finally called it quits with my husband. Being the kind of person who needs the "why" for everything, I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about emotionally unavailable men. I have always known that my husband suffers from depression (for which he has never sought help of any kind), but have come to discover that he is a classic case of passive aggressive personality disorder (seriously, they could post his picture next to the definition). I now get why our marriage didn't work. I came into it with abandonment and trust issues which made me want to fight tooth and nail to "make him love me." I realize now that nothing I could have done would have achieved what I wanted - communication and a full emotional commitment, and that without intensive therapy and possibly medication his behaviors will continue. My question is, do I tell him what I think is wrong with him? I have told him for years that I think he is depressed, begged him to seek help and met with nothing but resistance. We are forced to live together until the new year and right now the only time we speak to each other is when it pertains to the kids (which is my choice, I need to distance myself so I can heal). I know the marriage is over, but I am worried that if he doesn't face his issues he may never form any sort of meaningful emotional connection to our three kids (9,7,4). He has always waffled back and forth between what I call his "moments of clarity", when he realizes that he has issues that hurt the people around him and defiance - claiming that we should all just accept him the way he is. Do email him a bunch of links to aggressive personality disorder articles and say "hey, read this stuff it may help"? I get the feeling I would be wasting my time. Thanks in advance for any opinions.