I have a mix of issues happening at the moment. Too much. I am not taking my lithium yet, I get paid Friday. I just need a water bottle that won't spill if the baby is trying to take it and drink from it. I know that sounds stupid.

I am really confused and not well. I am having some pretty sever paranoia. I have this really, really strong feeling that something is going on. People are against me, I can feel it. I feel watched, like remotely or something. I feel very suspicious. It's hard to articulate exactly what I'm feeling / thinking at the moment... this was going on when I was on the lithium, by the way, I don't think that's what is causing it. It started a few weeks ago. I can't explain it. I'm trying to be rational. I just feel attacked and stress on Monday night exploded it really bad. Yesterday was bad until evening, then it got better a little.

Then, I know that I'm changing back into something. I can't explain exactly what that means. I know I've started causing all the street lights to burn out again. The other day I was on the highway and I burned out every light on both sides as I approched them. This is very distressing. Both sides of the road. It makes it so hard to see. I don't have really good night vision. This used to happen to me a lot a long time ago when I was very powerful. But not to this extent. So I don't know if my subconcious is preparing for something.

Anyway, I feel like I am not making sense.