Thanks for the replies!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah
That's harsh, and I am sorry that you were hurt. I love you tons girlie, and I feel bad when I watch you go thru these extreme emotions with your t.
I remember the boundary thing going back a while with you. So, I looked out of curiosity, and right about this time last year you were banging your head because you didn't know if you were her favorite or not (when you fixed her bracelet). That is really important to you. It can't be simply professional, it is either you are her fav, or she doesn't care. (she's the best t in the world, or she's bat sh i t crazy).
There's a middle ground Chopin. She really hasn't been steady enough with her boundaries, but she would have to be fort Knox ...I think you require firmer boundaries than most (so do I) (it's because of your intelligence). She's a t. She doesn't have to be your bff to help you. She doesn't have to be enthralled with you to care. You don't need to tug at her heartstrings to get her attention, you've paid for it already.
True maternal love is neither manipulated nor bought, it just is. I am so sorry that your mother didn't show you that.
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This is thought-provoking, Wiki, and that's what I like. You will see as I write more about my session, some of this came out, but not Fort Knox status. I have stated to my H in the past that maybe she needed to place more restrictive boundaries on me, but he maintains that I
need those flexible boundaries or I would just quit therapy. I think he's right. My two previous T's boundaries were flexible and I made significant progress with both T's. For example, my last T said that a session wasn't over until it was over. I usually had 5 pm sessions scheduled and didn't get called back until anywhere from 5:15-5:45. I didn't mind because she gave me the same courtesy. We usually ran 5-15 min over time.
I have no idea (thus far) why I want to be a favorite. IRL, I don't strive to be anyone's favorite. I know she doesn't have to be my BFF, be enthralled with me, or need her heartstrings tugged at for her to love me or help me. Thing is, she has acted like a BFF, been enthralled, and allowed her heartstrings to be tugged. I think it's for all these reasons that she was actually
hurt by my email and subsequent reaction.