My boyfriend has ADD (non-hyperactive). He takes medication for it, and it is well-controlled during the day for work and such. However, the morning is difficult, and the evenings starting about 8pm or so. Weekends can be dodgy too.

I have my own problems (depression/anxiety/angry mood issues), and when we are both having a hard time, it's....a really hard time. I didn't closely know anyone with ADD before we met years ago, so he has taught me all that I know about it. That said, I'm no expert and definitely have trouble interacting with him when he is not medicated. It makes me feel bad, because he is very supportive of my problems, but when it comes to him having a hard time with ADD, I feel like I am just criticizing him and telling him how he is doing everything wrong because I get so angry, and oftentimes hurt or upset from things he does or says.

He is kind of a louder person in personality (I often need to tell him to lower is voice because he doesn't realize he is shouting, lol), but when he is not medicated he is very loud and sort of off-the-wall babbles. Gibberish words or random sentences that sometimes are very comical (he's a funny guy), but after hours of this... I get so frustrated.

For example, he'll be humming or whistling a song that I absolutely can't stand (and he knows that), I'll bring it to his attention, he'll say, "Oh-! Sorry, I'll stop," and then three minutes later he'll be doing it again. I know he doesn't do it on purpose, but after so long, as a human I react emotionally, feeling either angry or ignored, not knowing if it's ADD or him being careless. My mental health problems clash with his, and it's just really a terrible mix. We live together, so there's no "see you tomorrow" option, not that that's a very mature solution anyway, though sometimes I think I should leave when serious clashes happen (so I don't say something awful, and just to get a breather personally), but I've tried this previously (spiteful sometimes :/ but genuine more) and he gets really upset/distraught when I try.

Sorry if these things are basic or insensitive-sounding...I really don't mean them to be. I'm looking to know more about ADD/ADHD so I can be more helpful to him.

Also, if you could ask or impart, say, five things to/of your partner to help or for understanding of your ADD/ADHD, what would those five (or so) things be?