Was diagnosed as a teenager....drug-induced psychosis (angel dust) then they said schizophrenia, because I was hallucinating and my sister has schizophrenia then they decided on manic depression /bipolar (this was in the 80's)......by 20 yrs old....off all meds and doing okay...went on with my life...no symptms, (other than some mild anxiety and occasional mild depression), no meds, got married, had children and went about my life.

Everything was good until 2005- life altering stress coupled with zoloft inducing mania - diagnosed bipolar again.

I want to go back to the way it was...was it in remission? How could I have gone all those years being ok and then bam I am diagnosed bipolar again. Why can't I get that back the ?remission.
The episodes have become more severe and closer together the last few years so guess I'm scared.

I just miss the old me.

The person who was capable, didn't give up, outgoing and social, had friends,was organized, did so much and was able to try new things.
The person that walked and hiked and swam for exercise.
The person who ate healthy, looked nice, had pretty clothes and could buy nice things, the confident person, the optimist. A person people enjoyed being around.

Now I isolate, have no interests and don't take good care of myself.

I feel oppressed, feel like meds took my personality or is it the disorder??