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Many of the points that you bring up beg the question “Why?”
Why are you not living together?
Why has he not introduced you to his children?
Why does he not at least get you a birthday or valentine’s gift?
All we can do from the other side of the computer is guess.
So here goes:
If he enjoyed being with you he would want to live with you.
If he loved you he would want his children to know you.
If he proposed, you said yes, and nothing ever materialized, then he changed his mind or is totally ineffectual when it comes to accomplishing things.
Why are you depressed? Why is the depression “unmedicated?” Is the depression clinical or situational?
Here is a tough one:
How do you expect to be able to love someone else if you can’t take care of yourself?
Both of you need to introspect, seek professional counseling (therapist, couples, marriage) and decide to build a successful committed relationship, if that is what you want.
I don’t perceive this stalemate as entirely his fault. It could be that he works too hard and has difficulty with intimacy (emotional intimacy, not sexual). It could also be that he doesn’t want anything from this relationship except sex.
Men commit to things when they believe that they have found what they want. When they don’t, they don’t.
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