OH my gosh. I could have written SO much of what you wrote. I don't want to ramble, or anything, but I tend to do so in answering. I have experienced this. I felt so out of control in my life.

I don't know if I started by trying to lose weight, or if it was because we moved from California to where we are at now right before I started High School, or what...but that's another place and time.

ANYWAY, when I finally was inpatient hospitalized for depression, they told my mom I was anorexic too, eating x amount of calories a day, and she laughed in my face and said "no daughter of hers was that stupid." I had to pull my shirt up a bit and show her my ribs. (another story, lol) So I get what you said about your familly thinking you were being dramatic or attention-seeking!

My family now, seems to discount what I have been through also, I am at a "normal" weight as well, but struggle daily, daily, daily. And my aunt even had the nerve to tell me I was heavy "back in the day" at a family function we just had this past year! And my dad makes comments all the time. I don't get it. Just because I look ok doesn't mean that I'm not struggling still. So I totally get where you are coming from.

I don't really know if I am coping with it, at all. I tend to ignore it, or stuff it down and then get mad later when I am alone, or come here and vent. I don't know what to do though because I am really trying not to believe that there never was a problem (I went inpatient for ED a while back) but sometimes I wonder if I was even worthy of help in the first place, lol.

I too still feel those "eyes" on my plate if I am with family. Like they are judging what I put in my mouth. I don't know if that is warranted, or not, but I understand you completely!

I wish I had advice. Maybe we can find it together. I hope I didn't detract from your original post, or get off track. I apologize if I did, but your post just had so many similarities I had to share and let you know you are NOT alone...