Although I would have told you that I had no goals and there was nothing I wanted to accomplish, this was only part of the picture. What I really meant was that within the limited context of what I felt I was worthy of, I had no goals and there was nothing I wanted to accomplish. And for that matter, within that limited context, there was so little left of me that I wouldn't have hired myself for any decent job. The point is that now that circle has expanded and I have a larger limited context to work within. Life is looking more interesting and I feel more valid and capable of being worth a good job to pay for all of these new possibilities. The problem is that it takes a lot of energy to expand and generally it has to come from outside once that circle has shrunk so far that there is not enough to work with on the inside. If you do not have that energy - if you do not have goals - if you do not have wants - learn to ask for them. And I'm just going to suggest that you ask to be shown how to be the best / highest qualities you have, more of the time. The negative qualities tend to be more dramatic and they call attention to themselves, but your good side tends to be boring and less likely to act out to get attention. The more time you give your good side attention, though, the more it grows until you realize it is there more of the time. Maybe it is like sibling rivalry. The good kid doesn't tend to get the attention and encouragement and starts to feel invisible, while the "bad" kid acts out all kinds of dramas to try to earn the attention. Anyway I feel I am beginning to slip off topic.