Will be interested to see what else you post... It's hard to say, but you know, I feel like I see some parallels with what has gone on in my own therapy and the problems me and T have been having. Sudden abrupt boundary switches, T taking things personally...

I am close with my T, too, and I too wondered if getting 'too close' was the problem - or, rather, the feeling that T had found herself too emotionally involved, and the subsequent hasty backing off and overcompensation with suddenly giving me the 'tough love' approach. Yikes.

My T at one point said something about having 'took the training wheels off too soon'... I'm unclear as to whether the 'taking off of the training wheels' was actually intentional or not on her part (complex situation, this wasn't the whole/only issue, and I only know my side of it for the most part) ... and it's tricky, because yes, we do need to be encouraged to 'leave the nest' and 'learn to fly' and go out into the world on our own.. but, at least for me - having issues with trust, fear of abandonment, hypervigilence over rejection - feeling that was T pulling back/pushing me away sparked a downward spiral. I don't feel I was in a stable enough place for that, I'd only just begun to feel safe and secure. Like you, I've wanted (needed?) to feel like it's okay to need T - at least for the time being. I've wanted to be able to relax into the connection, know it's still there - know SHE is still there. I thought the idea was strike out on our own when we've had time to build the confidence and resources? I guess at some point/in some cases the T may need to start nudging, pushing...

It's tough trying to figure it out in these situations... whether it's T having some issues of their own in their personal life, or some issues with countertransference in sessions, whether they are too involved emotionally and there are some boundary issues, or whether it's an issue of misjudgement or miscalculation of what a client can tolerate at a given time... Any/all of the above and then some?! I think whatever the crux of it is, it reveals that the other person in the room is human too. The last couple months or so in therapy have been tough for me to ride out, it's a heck of a tangled web, but I guess that's what makes the bond between therapist and client so important, making it possible to hang on through the rough times. At times I've been frustrated with my T as a therapist, with her human mistakes - but I feel that it's my being able to see her 'human side' that's also kept us going and able to continue in therapy. As painful as all the emotional stuff can be, I feel like it would be worse to have a therapist with whom such depth of emotions didn't get stirred up - and to what level would that be 'therapy'?

Incoherant musings? Am I projecting?! I don't know how much of this is or isn't relevant to your situation..

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