Can't he just hug you, and help you through your depression. Why does he have to have sex with you? It's seems like he'll be getting the benefit, and I can almost guarantee that you will be left feeling even lower than you do now. From my experience, when I've "given in," I ended up feeling even more powerless, hopeless, and then angry followed by depression. Please don't think you have to give him anything for "his patience." What has he really done for you? He's just left you laying in your bed all year. What kind of a man does this someone he loves? Even if you told him to not come over, that's no excuse. He should be overwhelmed with concern for your mental and emotional well being. Instead, it sounds like his focus is purely on the sex. I also wonder if he has caused you to slip into your depressive state, and perhaps it's a subconscious defense on your part that you have stayed away from him. It sounds like he's toxic, and has made you sick. I know that might sound a bit extreme, but you've had 10 years to become habituated to this pseudo relationship, so it doesn't seem that bad. I hope you cut him loose.