Well, you've at least described my exact experience over the past month and a bit. I too felt like I needed the relationship, I needed to fully rely on it as stable, and T as somewhere out there for me, before I'd be ready to let go. Suddenly she's backed off. It started with anger so much like you're describing Chopin, too. Every answer I gave was wrong and I was accused of not trying, T expects better of me after four years, and so on. All said with a very raised voice.

I think T has reassessed her own boundaries. She told me something she did for me was too friend like, yet I've never confused it in my head as being friend like. She's told me recently that she's exhausted and needs a break too. I'm really not sure what I could have done differently though, to get through the sudden changes more smoothly. Some of the things that were said were so harsh. Then she started to forget big things about me, even though we've always had what I thought to be a close relationship. She started to compare me to other clients in explanation to why she forgot things. I don't think I did anything wrong enough to justify the level of anger that was directed towards me (and the awful emotions I went through as a result).

Chopin, it does sounds like your T is reassessing her boundaries, but she didn't really do it in a fair way. It's seems to be something she has wavered on before, the email stuff? The sudden anger wasn't really the way to gradually go about it though, if she wanted to change something about it. That wasn't really fair at all, but they're human and make mistakes too, when they get frustrated. And in the end, after all the awful things that were said to me, I think I've always actually been helped the most by someone who has been willing to give me a real relationship, even by showing her true feelings, such as anger and disappointment.