Hi helpme,

I'm kind of surprised no one else has replied to your post yet. Yes, this is a very good place to vent, get support and feedback, ask questions, etc. Most everyone here is also suffering to some degree, and sometimes it just helps to know that you really aren't alone in all of this.

One thing I hate about depression is that no one ever talks to you about it - even the few people you are somewhat close to and have told that you're being treated. Even at the therapist you have to put on a happy face and pretend you've made some kind of progress since the last session (or just sit there and feel like a whiney jerk the whole time). In the last 13 months the longest continuous period of time that I've felt "normal" was 10 days. During that time, I was hoping for "happy" but I could still feel the depression nibbling around the edges.
I haven't completely given up on happy, but you're right - I can't seem to do anything to make it happen for me. Sometimes I try to remember a time when I was happy & I try to remember how it felt - it seems so far away.
Please keep posting here and check out all of the information available here - it does help. Sometimes this is the only thing I have that really makes me feel connected.