Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
 ((Antimatter))
What I found hardest to bear about disconnection was that I couldn't understand WHY.
I was trying, she was trying, but the connection just wasn't there and it wouldn't come back.
It resulted in a rupture, but we repaired it. |
Exactly, the why is difficult. My T talked me through this, explaining things to me. But I couldn't feel anything he said. I don't understand why, and I have no control over it. Recognizing and realizing that this happens to me is terrifying. I left therapy feeling terrified. I used to say that I could have tons of people around me and still feel alone. Now I know why. I don't feel needy now, I don't feel attached to anyone, including myself. I don't need or want me.