Being in bed for a year is a long time. Have you seen a doctor about this? Could you be going through menopause? I think you need to take care of you "first".

Some older men fear marriage because if it doesn't work out they could stand to lose alot. He is older now and will have less time to rebuild his financial worth. He may not want his family to know about you because he may not want to hear, "watch out dad don't get too commited or married because she may take advantage of you etc"

Maybe he got hurt by his previous wife somehow?

There are so many reasons he stays somewhat detached. He could just be "using" you too. Why buy something if you can get it for free? kinda deal.

It is hard to really know by just what you have here IMO.

Open Eyes