Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99
Good point. I am in therapy to change. T essentially getting mad and yelling at me does not work. My mother tried it for 23.5 years and it drove me away. It isn't going to work for T either. I'm going to resist or I'm going to leave. If this is a "technique" (which she said it was not later in session...I asked), it is one that simply will not work. I will no longer allow anyone to treat me that way; H said I don't need to let her do it either.
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What's wrong with an honest show of anger, as long as it isn't abusive? Raising one's voice and having a different tone doesn't really mean yelling.
I understand, I think, that she jumped in before you finished your sentence. Can you look back at that email, perhaps in context of all the other emails you've sent her, and see how she could be on edge about it?
Also, starting out the answer to any question, "I don't care?" It's not a great way to talk to another person and I could see how someone could sort of lose their cool in response to it.
I do think it would be useful to you to try to see how what you said could have honestly provoked her to feel angry. And I'm just not one who believes that showing anger, as long as it's not scary or abusive, is wrong. In fact, I think it's healthy and normal. It's how you show that anger that matters.
Most of us could stand to understand better our impact on other people. In your shoes, I'd be asking my T, what is it that I said or did specifically that evoked/provoked you being angry?