Cookfan, I understand how you feel as I always felt uncomfortable with my family of origin too. It was 'better' after my shrink made me write a letter to my mom, telling her everything I felt about how scared I was growing up - my parents fought all the time, physically and were alcoholics. My shrink said I should include all my emotions both then and now. So I did, and she made me mail it!!! I was inpatient at the time. That did help to get rid of alot of "stuff" that I'd wanted to say for a long time.

But I still needed a lot of therapy to get rid of the anger and resentment over being ignored and emotionally abused all my childhood.

I then figured out that my parents gave Me what they had been given. They couldn't give me something they didn't have. They had been abused as children too. They didn't know how to be parents. I stopped the cycle with my own kids, and lavished love & attention on my own kids.

I guess back then there weren't the resources or reading material about parenting that there is now, and parents just didn't KNOW. I'm not condoning what happened, but I'm glad we live in the time that we do! God bless and please take care. And if you can, I'd suggest getting some therapy. It certainly helped me tremendously! Take care. Hugs, Lee