Just wondering if all you are doing are THINGS to please.....but what about communication....just plain talking to each other & working things through IN WORDS.

My husband was nice.....he would always do nice things to please in the situation.....BUT.....& this is a HUGE BUT......he would never communicate about or work through the problems because he had no desire to change the things that WERE THE REAL PROBLEM IN THE MARRIAGE. So if you think that just doing everything to please your wife is the solution....WRONG.

Another issues.....drinking of any amount of any alcohol including beer is NOT OK. There are a lot of alcoholics who do nothing but drink beer & it's just as bad as the hard stuff. You are really NOT changing the behaviors that were causing problems....you are just allowing yourself to think because they are different it's ok.

Also, just because therapy is physically over, doesn't mean that it actually accomplished anything....there isn't the communication that is really NECESSARY to resolve anything in your marriage.....you don't even really know why your wife is so unhappy....you just know why you are.

I can tell you from my own personal experiences that I had a husband who wouldn't communicate & wouldn't do anything to change the things that were breaking the marriage. Just the fact that I couldn't have a reasonable communication with him was enough to turn me off from being physically attracted to him.....the last 13 years I lived in the same house with my husband, I had nothing to do with him physically.....he was so arrogant, he refused to understand that it was his ATTITUDE toward everything in life that turned me off toward him & he valued his poor attitude so much that he had no desire to let it go in order to save the marriage........so I finally left after 33 miserable years with him.

In reality, therapy shouldn't be over until the marriage is either resolved or it's decided that divorce is the only solution....anything less than that is really early termination of the therapy.

The other woman.....IS WRONG.....not ok to to out of your marriage to seek those things you are missing in your marriage unless it's decided mutually that your marriage is over......you will never solve your marriage problems through an outside relationship.....the only thing you are achieving through that is making your own ego feel good.

Too many times guys think that by just doing things pleasing to their wife is enough to fix the marriage problems.....but without REAL communication......all marriages stay broken & either the 2 people continue on just tolerating the situation......or they go for the divorce. You can't fix a marriage without communication & definitely NOT by doing nice things to please your wife. Relationships are difficult....but I can guarantee you that without really understanding & caring enough to really communicate & find out what is really bothering your wife & your wife knowing exactly what's bothering you after you gain the knowledge about her....there is no way to fix a marriage without that effort.......anything else is NOT ENOUGH.