We lost our 16 year old, sarah, 2 years ago today. I am not sure of the stages of death, but if I were to write my own stages, I think I would be in resignation. I'm not so sure anymore that the joy outweighs life's griefs. I never went through the anger phase because I never had anywhere to direct the anger.

She didn't do anything to contribute to her death. The doctors were never really conclusive why she died. How a 16 year old can stump a hospital of doctors is beyond me. Meningitis, toxic shock, her thyroid, a spider bite. They never really figured it out. So there is no one.. nothing to be angry about.

So I have resigned. Because it's just not worth it.

I'm not suicidal. Maybe I would be if I even felt anything anymore. I'm just past the point of caring.