a big thank you to septembermorn and fuzzy and ozzie for reading and offering support. I appreciate it very much. It seems that the thread that runs through the replies is that I must give off the impression that I don't need anything. I think I was brought up that way. Independence and self-reliance were paramount because I didn't have good parents. They always made me feel like I was an intrusion or burden so I got very used to being alone and entertaining myself. I didn't rely on them for anything and relying on others now takes a lot of trust and I don't have much of that. I guess I still need to do some work on me but it all seems a bit of a contradiction at times. I'm so confused........
thanks all
tina

"Sometimes it takes other people to point reality out to those who don't live there"
me