Thank you, everyone, for the kind words of advice. I was trying to decide, forgive or not to forgive...it was killing me. I decided in order to make any sort of decision, I needed to have a very frank, honest talk about what had happened, and other things.(before that, I hadn't talked to him. I couldn't talk to him)

When I told him I wanted to talk, he was elated, and came over immediately. We talked about things. I had a list of questions I wrote down, and asked him. He answered each one, and although I heard some things I didn't necessarily want to hear, it helped me make what I thought was a better decision.

I decided I wanted to try and work through this, not just for him, but for me and my character. I'd always imagined that if I was ever faced with this situation, I'd hope I could forgive. Because, if you love them, at least try...and if I were to ever make such a mistake I hope my actions would be treated the same.

It's not back to normal, and i don't feel it will be for a while, but there are moments when we forget and it's like it never happened. I've had talks with him, asking if he feels the same too, which he does. And, in some reguards, its brought us closer. I'm not saying I'm glad it happened, or recommend infidelity, but when you are given the decision to lose someone who means so much it's an eye opener, and you may try harder than before.

Of course, with me giving him another chance, there are certain things that he can't do like before. I've asked him to immediately cut all ties with that woman, to not have any girls at the house, to keep his conversations with women very businesslike and short, no drinking, entirely new bed, and sex is a long way down our road.

I just started letting him kiss me again, and before that I only allowed him to hug/hold me. He's so thankful that I decided to try again. Now that I've made that decision, I'm unsure if it's right...

I want to move home one day (about 30hr drive straight through). I miss it terribly. I've always been open, and honest about me moving back. He was down with the possibility of moving when we first started dating. However, since his mother passed, he and his father have become almost inseparable. It tears them apart each time we leave ( his father lives about 2 1/2 hr away). Besides the friends I've made in the area, the closest family I have is 12 hr away

He came home with me for a visit, and loved it all; the area, weather, my family & friends. But, it hurts me that he cannot give me some sort of yes/no answer when I mention moving towards my family at some point in time. He simply tells me, he cannot leave his dad. I understand what he's saying, but I feel that the person you love is the person you love, and you would do anything for ( just like I'm trying again, and staying out here for him) But after putting up with this b.s. I feel I am entitled to some sort of commitment!