I'm so sorry, Betsey. They say losing a child is the worst loss. I'd argue, having lost my mother as a toddler but that's not a good contest I want to win. I wouldn't worry about the phases of mourning, I think healing comes as it comes, like all things in life, and can't be rushed or scheduled.

Anger isn't "logical" where you only get angry because there's something to get angry about. I had to learn about and explore my anger at my mother for leaving me to grow up "on my own" before I was able. Anger exists and has to be acknowledged. Your daughter "shouldn't" have gotten sick at 16 and died before her parents. She should have grown up into a beautiful young woman, married, and had lovely grandbabies. Now all that is lost to you. The doctors "should" have been able to figure it out; that's what we pay them for. Feelings can't be argued or "logic"-ed away.

Life is hard. There's no denying that. It's hard for everyone. But that's what makes joy so wonderful when we get a bit of it. I hope you get another bit of joy soon.