Sounds very similar to a relationship that I had. I met this guy, good job, lived near the beach, handsome, fun, great in bed, etc... In the beginning we kept it to once a week seeing each other. Of course I hoped it would change, it did in some ways, but not as I liked. Never met his family, met a few friends, but never really included in anything. We had the same routine, dinner, drinks, sex, acted like he cared when he really didn't. I did ask him what we were, and he would make some BS and try to sweet talk me. I was glad to break free from that, lasted 7 months. I know how you feel, you're consistently hoping for something to change, but it doesn't happen. In my opinion, don't waste your time, it is hard to break from this, don't let anyone string you along.
I think you should talk to him about how you feel, ask him the questions that you post on this thread, 10 years is a long time, don't waste another 10. Good Luck.