Lady Zero, I really feel for you, I also wish to call you something other than zero, your are not a zero at all.

You have to do what you feel is best. If that is talking to him to see what he says that's ok, 10 years is a lot of emotional investment. If you have to walk away that's ok too. Whatever you do decide keep your needs and wants in mind, that they deserve to be met.

I don't think anyone is really wrong in this but two people wanting different things perhaps.

Be gentle with yourself. Everyone is allowed to vent and wonder why and what went wrong, or how. No ones trials and tribulations are comparable to anothers. Pain is pain. You have certainly had your share, and I am really sorry for your losses and new struggles. So please feel free to let it all out. We come here to support each other, so don't feel bad at all.

I am not religious, but I am spiritual. I can't really answer on the god part. But we all have suffering as it is part of life, and acceptance of all life offers seems to bring more peace from what I have experienced. I have found it very helpful to try to gain knowledge, wisdom, and grow from my pains. Somehow that has made it worth while to me and easier to accept what comes.

Hmm I met my mate on the internet. He only lived 2 doors down from my sister, but I guess that is what it took. I was a single mom, going to college and not any friends or social life. I can tell from posts I have read that when you are in a good spot in life I bet you are a true shining star. I can't help but feel you probably have a very attractive personality.. I think you would find someone again if you choose.