Big Mama, you've been struggling so hard for so long!!! It's no WONDER that you've had what amounts to "flashbacks" of the rape!!! Bless your heart, I can't imagine what you've been going thru. It seems like your husband would have THOUGHT about it at SOMETIME or another!! I mean, jeez -- you were raped, and don't you think he'd at least question you about things? Good grief!! Wouldn't you think he'd ask you if you ever have a problem with sex? I just don't understand.

I'm so sorry my friend. You're a better person than I. I don't think I would have taken it this long. I think I would have bolted and run before now. God bless you for being such a strong, faithful wife and mother. You're the best. BIG gentle hugs, Lee