I can relate to this completely. It is a very weird secret among my family and friends. In high school my friends mother called my parents and told them I was taking ipecac syrup to purge ...they sent me to a counselor and that was the end of it. No follow up questions/lecture etc. fast forward a few years to college where a school psychiatrist called my parents and told them I needed to be hospitalized for anorexia.....I was and they never mentioned it, asked how I was doing around food, nothing. It was like over done with even though I was in a tough place mentally when I got out.

Fast Forward 20 years- I never told any friends, my H or family that I struggled because I was/am so ashamed. I struggle with both purging and AN and whenever my weight started to drop and people would comment it always freaked me out and helped me to gain. In my early 30s I went through a very bad time with anorexia and became a total recluse...I avoided anyone and anything to do with food. I basically hid myself from everyone and the few people I was around I concealed how bad the weight loss was. When I hit rock bottom, I decided to come clean with the people around me (friends and family I had been avoiding). I thought taking responsibility for my actions and letting them know that my avoidance of them was not personal, it was because I was struggling with anorexia. My in laws and parents were quietly supportive but more just didnt know what to think or say when I told them, the friends I told freaked out and thought I was crazy and going to die ( they asked me my weight and in keeping with the whole coming clean and being honest, I made the mistake of telling them). I told all of them I was going into treatment but at the last minute, I decided not to. And do you know what? Not one of them ever freaking asked me about it again. I say this with shock and awe. Imagine if a close friend came out as an alcoholic to you, can you imagine never asking them " hey, how are things going with alcohol...." Or something like that. My recovery was an emotional ( and physical) hell....especially because I gained weight really fast and a within a year of " coming out" people were discussing diets around me and acting as if nothing had happend. Of course, I was still purging everyday but I think people just saw weight gain and figured no more problem.

And even again, this past year I went through another bout of anorexia (approaching 40) and I had to tell my parents. My mom said she suspected ( she never said anything though) and after I told her we've never discussed it again.

Sorry this is so incredibly long. I just want you to know that this is such a strange disease and really evokes something in people that just turns them off. I always thought I would have received more support had I said I was a drug addict or criminal. Think part of it is that eating disorders are a way of putting up a wall between our selves and the world that there is an unconscious element of " you can get int my world" so people opt to keep to themselves. It will play terrible, mind tricks with you- you'll think that maybe you don't really have a problem if no one else thinks so (which of course, is not true. There is immense suffering involved in having an ED that can not be measured in weight).