I am so ready for 2012 to be over. It has been the toughest I can remember in a long time. I'm still not fully convinced that 2013 will be any better, but I do know I'm working very hard to feel better. I've taken many steps to feel better. I see a therapist. I take a Zumba class because I enjoy it and it boosts my self esteem. I've started keeping a journal to write my feelings down when they get stuck in my throat and don't want to come out. I'm trying not to push people away when I am hurting. It is very hard to resist that gut reaction. Of course I also take my meds every day. I'm starting to like the person I see in the mirror. I don't love her yet, but I think I like her. Sometimes I wonder if all this hard work is worth it. I mean, I know living my life and being content is definitely worth it but sometimes I just get tired. Sometimes I wish my heart had a window and people could see how it really feels. I know that will never happen but sometimes I think it would be nice. Well, forgive my ramblings.