Wow. If even just half of this is true, that's crazy. I am sorry you had to go through this.

Choppin, I know you have a deep bond with your T and that there are certain situational things that limit you in finding Ts, but I don't think she is totally healthy for you. Consistency really is a necessary quality for Ts to have. Yours seems to waffle a lot. It is causing you so much angst and hurt.

I respect your choices, but if a friend or family member came to me with this situation, I would adamantly tell them to look for other options somewhere.

I wish you luck in resolving this.