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Hello,
Well after my post yesterday several things occurred. In my desperation of trying my darndest to stay within professional boundaries. I called my T to ask if it is okay to buy a small gift for everyone in the office. He returned the call, I was out shopping. I did leave him a follow up message today.
Last night my husband reminded me of something I did early in my treatment. I gave him a movie. The movie was ,"Dangerous Method". The film is about Carl Jung and his work with a client. Ironically he & the client began a sexual relationship. I had NO idea that my T was involved in a similar situation. I didn't know until this Tuesday almost 9 months after I gave him the movie. He never returned the movie to me. No biggie, who cares. I didn't like it anyway. The film made me uncomfortable. The content was so graphic and disturbing. I had explained this to him. Most importantly I explained to him me admiration of Dr. Jung and his theories.
Today I'm about to have a panic attack because now I think he may have thought I gave him that movie to be rude or something. Or that I knew. I didn't know. Now I feel like I really have to tell him to clarify some things. I'm not that type of person who would purposefully do something like that.
I feel sick. I can't eat, focus or anything. i tossed and turned all night. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep with the help of Ambien. This is a big mess or am I worrying myself into a frenzy?
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